Oh No Hidden Secrets and Desires
by Mongoose1
Summary: Ok peoples our first fic. need five reviews fast! Summary? see title that sums it up
1. It Starts

Oh No Hidden Secrets and Desires  
  
  
  
Hello everyone out there in internet land reading this fic which was written with my bestest buddy; Doone. Ladies and gentlemen I urge you to be nice to me and Doone since this is our first fic. This is what happens when you mix Mountain Dew, a vast amount of sugar, a lot of free time and already deranged minds. So this fic is about…….hmmm…… just the random world of Harry Potter whatever happens to come into our heads. Which is usually strange and unnatural. Oh well who gives a flying monkey(well wouldn't that be interesting to see a flying monkey? I would rather see flying cheese though- whoa way off track. Sorry about that) well ummm where were we? Oh yes Without further ado the story (if u revieew please be nice? )  
  
  
  
Disclaimer: They are not ours so leave us alone!  
  
[ ] = narrations  
  
  
  
[ok it's a nice and sunny day at Hogwarts School Of Witchcraft and Wizardry or maybe its rainy oh who cares its just another day at hogwarts. Well lets find our main characters shall we? Alright here they are in Potions with everyones favorite teacher, Professor Snape!! Well lets see now lets say harry and them are in their 6th year and they're……. Normal well you know what we mean. Then all of a sudden (you are gonna hear those words a lot so get used to it) Neville messes up his potion!! Oh No!!!! and well what happened? Well this happened HE MADE A HIDDEN TRUTH AND DESIRES POTION!!!!! (bum bum bummmmmmmm {dramatic pause} ) now onto the storyline!]  
  
Snape: You fool! Do you know what you just did?  
  
[yes snape everyone knows already]  
  
Snape: oh well alright.  
  
Everyone in class: OH NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
[well snape why don't you explain to us how the potion works, ok?]  
  
Snape: (in a dramatic voice) the vapors of the potion when inhaled will cause the victim to act on their deepest desires and truths…….. I should run as fast as I can now, shouldn't I?  
  
[oh no severus. You have a part to play in this scheme]  
  
Snape: Oh dear God help me………  
  
[well wouldn't you like to know what everyones truths and desires are? Well if we get 5 reviews you will know. Ok for a teaser: a secret love, a strange desire and a scary-ass story hmm more hints you say? well heres this: slash, signing, a weird fetish for cheese.  
  
That's all for now children, remember 5 reviews and there will be more!!!!!!  
  
(MMMMWWWAAHHHAAAHHHAAAHHHAAAHHH)  
  
-Mongoose and Doone 


	2. It Starts

Hello everyone I'm going to try my best with spelling and capitalization this time because I was asked to improve my grammar. Well I'm writing this chapter solo because Doone isn't here. She should be signed up pretty soon so be looking for her stories. They'll be mostly about Oliver Wood so if you have a thing for him too you should be pleased. Well I'll stop my useless ramblings now and get on with the story.  
  
[Where we last left our characters they had just found out that Neville, by accident, had made a Hidden Secrets And Desires potion, which would make everyone who inhaled the fumes of that potion would act on their hidden secrets and desires. (Man that was a long sentence)]  
  
Hermione: I know  
  
[Shut up you! Did I ask your opinion? No I didn't so DON'T INTERUPT ME!!!]  
  
Hermione: Geeze, I didn't know you would go off on me like that. In a pissy mood are you?  
  
[~angry growl~ Don't go there. I'll just make a note to torture you later.]  
  
Hermione: Oh no  
  
[Well before I was so rudely interrupted ~evil look at Hermione~ I was recapping the last chapter. So now on to our storyline!]  
  
Snape: I have to inform the headmaster immediately. Everyone stay where they are and if you move you will sorely regret it. (Walks out in that robes-swooshing Snape type way)  
  
Ron: So Hermione, you don't have any hidden secrets our desires, do you?  
  
Hermione: (glances nervously at him) No of course not………  
  
[All of a sudden as if not by her own will (of course not her own will I'm controlling them ~mischievous grin~) she jumps up on the desk she was sharing with Ron and says……]  
  
Hermione: (singing) I'm a slave for you. I cannot hold it. I cannot control it-  
  
Ron: Hermione!!! (pulls her off the desk) what is wrong with you?  
  
Draco: (walks over in a drag queen manner) What are you talking about girlfriend? (does that really annoying snappy thingy in front of Ron's face)  
  
Ron: ……. (looks at him like…… well you know how you would look at him if he walked up and did that to you(thinks about it and starts laughing hysterically))  
  
[Well I find this very amusing how about the rest of you? Harry, what do you think?]  
  
Harry: There is something very, very wrong with you.  
  
[Harry, Harry, Harry. I am very sorry but you'll have to pay for that comment,]  
  
Harry: Oh no. I didn't really mean that, I mean you're probably a very nice person and everything-  
  
[SILENCE!!!! I am the ONLY person in control here so back off scar boy before I put another one of those lightning bolts where the sun don't shine!! (gives Harry a look so reminiscent of Voldemorts that he actually whimpers like a little girl) that's what I thought you pansy ass]  
  
Pansy Parkinson: What was that?  
  
[(Noise of anger) Nothing you stupid idiot]  
  
Pansy: Oh alright (goes back to picking her nose)  
  
[All of a sudden Snape comes flying back in with- is that what I think it is? Well I guess it is- he comes back with a large wheel of cheese raised triumphantly over his head]  
  
Snape: (signing ~laughter from author~) The hills are alive with the sound of CCCCHHHHHHEEEEEESSSSSSSSEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (dances around the room with the wheel of cheese – it looks to be cheddar – up above his head while doing complicated tap dancing moves.)  
  
Draco: You go girl!( Annoying snappy thingy again)  
  
Hermione: Does cheese make a sound?  
  
[It does in this story]  
  
Hermione: Oh all right.  
  
Snape: (looks lovingly at his cheese while the rest of the class looks on with a look on their faces like they were fighting off a wave of laughter) I think I shall call you………………………… SPANKY!!!!  
  
Harry: Whoa never seen that side of him before.  
  
  
  
  
  
Well that's all for now folks. Please review. Flames don't bother me because you don't know who I am or where I live! NEE NER NEE NER NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE NNNNNNEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRR  
  
Only you can decide if the madness should continue. I stay true to what I said before. There WILL be some slash! And I continue degrading our favorite characters because its just so gosh darn fun (  
  
-Mongoose 


End file.
